I Never Really Knew You At All

I’m starting to realize that I don’t share a lot about myself. Or maybe it’s just that I haven’t told many people that I’m a writer. Lately I’ve been telling people I know around town - but may not see too often - that I’ve recently published a book. Their response:

"I didn’t even know you were writing a book."

Hmmm. I thought that I did talk a lot about myself. I’m at home most of the time so my conversation is generally limited to discussions with my kids about their yelling too loud, or I’m pleading with them not to fart around me, or I’m being told how they handle stubborn boogers. So when I see an adult, the words just come pouring out. Of course, we often end up talking about our kids. At any rate, I guess my being a writer just doesn’t come up.

Or maybe I didn’t want them to know about my secret life until I’d done something successful with my work. Once people are aware that you’re writing a book, they naturally want to know if it’s been published yet. Since it took me a long time to get my first book published, I must have figured that I would soon get tired of saying, "I’m still sending out query letters." Nervous laughter. "No interest yet." More nervous laughter. "I’m keeping my fingers crossed." Then I run out of the room.

On the other hand, my family and any of my friends who are lucky enough to receive my Christmas letter, are quite aware that I’m a writer. They hear about it annually. For years, I kept writing the same thing. "Well, I’m still working on my books. Still attempting to find an agent. Still failing." It was nice this year to actually be able to say something positive.

It never occurred to me to give up on my writing. I love it too much; it keeps me sane; and I hate not succeeding. I either keep trying or change the definition of success. I absolutely, unequivocally, refuse to accept that I won’t be able to make this work. I’m kinda stubborn that way.

In sum, feel free to spread the word that Kristina Schram is a writer. I’m turning over a new leaf, my friends!