Monday, February 4, 2008

Patriots Nation Is In Mourning

The Superbowl just ended and I’m typing this blog. How pathetic is that? But I have to. The Patriots lost, which means I am lost. More like, stunned. Yes, they weren’t playing all that great toward the end of the season. Yes, Tom Brady had a shoulder injury and a sprained ankle. But still… They’ve pulled it off at the last minute so many times, I just thought they might do it again. Even with 10 seconds left on the clock and on the Giant’s 20-yard line. I really believed they could make it happen. Of course, I like to believe in fairies, too.


I started out this year not watching the Patriots. You could call me a fair weather fan, I suppose. But I just couldn’t hack it. Last year, I ended up with an aching jaw for two months, which, funnily enough, went away not long after the Patriots’ season ended. Coincidence? I think not. Watching them play stressed me out to the point that I was clenching my teeth more often than not. And since I like to eat, this year I had to just walk away…not tune in…only take sneak peeks or have my husband update me.

You see, every time I watch the Patriots play, I lose years off my life. And I’m not even one of those huge football fans. I understand the rules, I generally know the players. But it’s not my life, not like some of those fans (I’m talking the poor, half-naked guys who stand out there in the bleachers in 20 degree weather, who apparently can ‘t afford shirts because they spent all their money on tickets to the game). I guess when I root for a team to win, I get too passionate about it. It’s just a game, right? I know! So why the dramatics? Why the huge highs and lows? You got me. Maybe it’s the primitive in me coming out. Big guys beating other big guys. Oh, yeah! If my team beats your team, and every other team in the country, then that means I’m better than all of you. Ha!

This year, the Patriots were really winning their games big. So I figured, maybe I can start watching them again. Of course, that was about the same time that they started having closer games. Add a decade to my life for those, thank you very much. I am now an old woman. Might as well start digging my grave. When I told my dentist about my aching jaw, he advised me to drink a glass of wine while watching the game. I took his advice. It didn’t work.

I only wish that Tom Brady would have talked to me before the big game. Here’s the deal…I just had this feeling he was slipping into a funk. Those two weeks off, spent with a supermodel, that’s gotta hurt. But I’ve been there (well, not with a supermodel). I’ve seen the lows. I know how to get out of them. I’ve got the training, I even played high school basketball. I think I could’ve helped. But Tom didn’t look me up. I guess he was busy.

Well, Giants fans, enjoy this one. We’re coming back next year, and if the Patriots are as smart as I think they are, they’ll ask my opinion more often about what play they should run, how to keep motivated, what kind of pants to wear. I’ve got the answers.

In the meantime, I shall mourn…and maybe watch the Pro Bowl next week. Perhaps Brady can win this one. If not, I’m hoping the commercials are as entertaining as the Superbowl’s were. I mean, the one where the little bug gives a tiny scream. How funny is that? And the guy braking his car when he sees an animal in the road and the guy from Kiss, and then speeding up when he sees Richard Simmons. Don’t get me wrong…I like Richard Simmons. He’s one peppy guy. I just don’t like it aimed in my direction.

Anyhoo, I feel bad for the Patriots. And for the big Patriots fans, too. I feel bad for me. I really like winners and although the Patriots were winners 18 times this year, they didn’t win the big one so why did they even bother? Actually, that’s me mocking the sportswriters and sportscasters out there. I think it’s a great accomplishment and I shall remember it. Of course, I shall also remember that Belichick didn’t have Gostkowski attempt that 49 yd. field goal and we could’ve been tied and maybe gone on to win in overtime!

Sigh. LIfe is just so hard!

Okay, I’ve gotta wrap this up. I’m starting to get worked up again. In summary, the Patriots lost, another Manning won, and I think my jaw is broken.

No comments: