Why Can’t Life be Unfair in My Favor?

Nine-year-old Alex Greven gets a book deal. Have you heard this? Does it make you want to scream? If you are a struggling writer or author like myself, you probably know where I'm heading with this. Does it seem fair to you that a 9-year-old should get his 46-page book on "How to Talk to Girls" published, and by HarperCollins, no less, when the rest of us have invested our hearts and souls and worked our fingers to bloodied stumps writing fascinating and compelling 300-page novels that no one wants?

Not to me.

Am I jealous? You bet your booty. Little Alex writes a pamphlet to sell on the playground and ends up getting published...and Fox has acquired the film rights! If I tried to sell my book on the playground, I'd be hauled off to jail. Here I am working my little patootie off while he's raking in the money giving advice about how to get a girl (and maddeningly, he just might have some valid points). I'm saddened by this news, but not surprised.

How is this fair?

But heck, this is America. Land of the free and home of the brave. I should be glad that I am free and try harder to be brave. Good for Alex for doing something besides playing video games and torturing small animals. He is hope for future generations. Also, taking sneak peeks at the book, he's pretty funny, too. Dangit.

Alex, you just keep on keeping on and ignore embittered authors like myself. We're just jealous.

Terribly, horribly jealous.

So what's a person to do with this jealousy? Well, first fix yourself a bowl of ice cream and then devour it. After stewing and complaining about the unfairness of it all for a couple hours, take a deep breath and redirect all that energy into the positive. That means, get back to work. Tell yourself that someday your efforts will be acknowledged, someday they will pay off. Because, chances are, if you're that dedicated and motivated, things will work out...

Then life will finally be unfair in your favor, at the expense of someone just like you used to be. Won't that feel great?

I Never Really Knew You At All

I’m starting to realize that I don’t share a lot about myself. Or maybe it’s just that I haven’t told many people that I’m a writer. Lately I’ve been telling people I know around town - but may not see too often - that I’ve recently published a book. Their response:

"I didn’t even know you were writing a book."

Hmmm. I thought that I did talk a lot about myself. I’m at home most of the time so my conversation is generally limited to discussions with my kids about their yelling too loud, or I’m pleading with them not to fart around me, or I’m being told how they handle stubborn boogers. So when I see an adult, the words just come pouring out. Of course, we often end up talking about our kids. At any rate, I guess my being a writer just doesn’t come up.

Or maybe I didn’t want them to know about my secret life until I’d done something successful with my work. Once people are aware that you’re writing a book, they naturally want to know if it’s been published yet. Since it took me a long time to get my first book published, I must have figured that I would soon get tired of saying, "I’m still sending out query letters." Nervous laughter. "No interest yet." More nervous laughter. "I’m keeping my fingers crossed." Then I run out of the room.

On the other hand, my family and any of my friends who are lucky enough to receive my Christmas letter, are quite aware that I’m a writer. They hear about it annually. For years, I kept writing the same thing. "Well, I’m still working on my books. Still attempting to find an agent. Still failing." It was nice this year to actually be able to say something positive.

It never occurred to me to give up on my writing. I love it too much; it keeps me sane; and I hate not succeeding. I either keep trying or change the definition of success. I absolutely, unequivocally, refuse to accept that I won’t be able to make this work. I’m kinda stubborn that way.

In sum, feel free to spread the word that Kristina Schram is a writer. I’m turning over a new leaf, my friends!