The Battle to Become Published

I just published a new e-book(let), and boy, was it a battle getting it out there. First of all, when submitting to Amazon, I screwed up the title. Of my own book! I accidentally called it, The Battle to Become Published: When Great Expectations Go Awry, rather than its real name, The Battle to Become an Author: When Great Expectations Go Awry. And yes, you're all probably going to remember the first title...it's what I typed more times than I care to admit when searching to see if my book was up on Amazon yet.

Yes, it says the title right on the book

My mistake was rather ironic, being that getting this book published was a huge pain. We mainly had problems making the lists work right (which Kindle Fire 8 now supposedly supports). We also had trouble with icons not showing up or showing up as
some other weird symbol, plus the electricity kept going out, of all things. 

I won't bore you with all the other issues we had, but I will say that we had one last biggie. Other than the book misnaming fiasco, things started out well. I submitted my finished e-booklet and about 12 hours later my Kindle account told me that my book was live. But when I went to Amazon, there was no way to buy it. You could see the book cover, the title, and the author, but no Buy Now! button. I sobbed a little, then contacted Amazon. They were nice and told me exactly when I'd hear back from them about the problem. I submitted my book on Sunday, contacted them on Monday, and heard back from them on Thursday. It was a long wait in Kristina years, but at least I knew when I'd get an answer.

Always Be Prepared

Here's what they said:

"At this time, certain MOBI files generated using third party applications are not supported on our website. For best results, we suggest you to upload your content in MOBI format generated using KindleGen tool.

KindleGen is a command line application to convert files in HTML/EPUB files to a Kindle supported MOBI format. You may download KindleGen tool from the below link."

Agggh!

I thought it was my title screw-up holding the book back, but it turned out to be more complicated than that. Apparently, Calibre - the conversion tool we used - only supports up to version 6 (I think that's right; I'm not exactly known for my computer prowess). However, in the end, as scary as those two paragraphs looked, we only had to change one thing. Sounds simple, right? Let's just say, luckily for me my husband (GorKee) knows what he's doing.

So here's a synopsis of the booklet (it's not very long, hence the $1.99 price, but it is chock-full of goodness):

Bleak and Gloomy Outlook

Are you looking to find an agent and/or get published? Are you a published author frustrated with the whole process? Or have you simply heard the horror stories and are looking for a ray of light before plunging into the fray? In this short booklet, author Kristina Schram discusses how one’s unrealistic expectations about becoming an author can contribute to feelings of negativity and isolation. Dr. Schram offers a real-world discussion of this growing issue, humorously incorporating her own experiences throughout. She also offers insights and ways to cope with the increasingly difficult battle to become a published author. Come prepared to challenge your own expectations, to laugh and to cry, and to battle against the forces conspiring to keep you from reaching your writing potential!

 

Funny, huh?

I hope to be laughing all the way to the bank some day.  I really do.

 

Kristina Schram

highly traumatized author of, wait for it...

The Chronicles of Anaedor: The Prophecies (Book One)

The Battle to Become an Author: When Great Expectations Go Awry.

What You Put Into It

The saying goes...you get out of it what you put into it. Wise words, I'm sure you will agree. And mostly true. Except when it comes to my pets.

Over the years I have learned that while I like animals, pets are not the wonderful 'blood pressure lowering,' 'always giving,' 'lovable' creatures they're made out to be. I call it the pet owner conspiracy.

Case in point: My pets. We have 3 cats, several goldfish, and a dog. They are all a big stressor in my life. I have tried to get the benefits I'm supposed to get out of them, starting with petting the furry creatures (the fish don't seem to like this so I've given up on them). Seems like a win-win situation, doesn't it? I get to relax with the soothing motion and they get, well, petted. Except...every time I pet my cats, my allergies kick up. So I startle them with my sneezes and then I get claw marks all over my body as they briefly freak out. Then I have to get up and blow my nose, which ruins the whole relaxation effect, as well, because now I'm standing up and the cat has fled the scene. And every time I pet our one cat, Beanie (we used to call her Sabrina - but that's just too nice a name - now she's Needy Beanie), it just kicks in her neediness and she gets all clingy and the claws come out so she can cling even better and she goes nuts if you try to stop petting her. When I try to pet our lab, she ends up chewing on my hand.

And what about that joyful greeting when we get home that other pet owners have said is so great? Well, we definitely get that from our dog...in spades. But we don't want it. She jumps up on us, scratching our arms or backs with her toenails because we can't fight her off as our hands are full of groceries, then she sniffs our behinds and crotches as much as she can before we push her away (what is that with dogs, btw? other than the obvious...). And then there's the licking of any exposed skin. Gah!

My blood pressure is rising just thinking about it...

So what do I get out of my pets? Well, noise, for one. They meow or bark or gurgle throughout the day. They also leave me lovely messes around the house (except the fish, who I'm kind liking more and more as this blog goes on), from regurgitated matter to clumps of fur to backend deposits (especially the dog, who gets into dead things and gets sick and has to get outside fast in the middle of the night but doesn't wake anybody so it ends up on the floor). I get claw marks on my furniture and doorways and clothes. My kids have holes in their shirts from when Dorrie was a puppy. The carpets are permanently stained.

So maybe I do get out of my pets what I put into them. Because I put food into my pets, so what I get out of them is...

_ _ it. You fill in the blanks.

I want to be an animal lover. I really do. I want to sit with my cats and pet them and they purr peacefully. I want to be able to play frisbee with my dog without the danger of losing a finger when I try to get the frisbee back to throw it again. Yet my fantasies of pet enjoyment just don't ever seem to play out the way I think they're going to (I blame commercials and advertisements, oh, and other pet owners who love everything their pets do - kind of like my mom).

So what does all of this have to do with writing and being an author? Besides the fact that I can relate everything back to those two things... Well, you get out of writing and publishing what you put into it. Blood, sweat and tears. Um, yuck. Why am I doing this again? I guess because I'm an optimist at heart, and a masochist, I suppose. Maybe I like to suffer. Or maybe my pets are sadists and they want me to suffer.

What's that Dorrie? You just ate a dead bird? On purpose? After you dug another hole in the yard and peed on my carpet? And then puked up the bird?

Oh, dear Lord, I think my heart just exploded.

Agent, Where Art Thou?

I am looking for an agent...that elusive species, which, if found, could bring joy and happiness (at the very least, a book deal) to my life. Those of you who have gone through the process, or are in it right now, know that it's a tough road to travel. Not only is it hard to find agents interested in _______ (enter your genre here), it's hard to make yourself stand out amongst all the other people searching for an agent who specializes in _______ (enter your genre here).

The worst part, though?

Well, the rejections, of course. But after that, it's the waiting. I know agents are busy, I know they gets lots and lots of email and snail mail and have to spend time trudging through submissions and on selling the manuscripts they actually do accept to publishers, not to mention that they need to eat and sleep, but I'm telling you, waiting a minimum of 4-6 weeks to hear back can be painful. Mainly because at the end of the wait, chances are, you're going to get a rejection.

Here are some of the rejections you might receive:

"Thank you for your submission. While your work shows promise, we don't feel that it fits our needs right now." Or... "I need to be sufficiently excited about a book to try and sell it and I'm just not feeling that about yours." Or... "Go away." I haven't actually received that last one, but I imagine it's only a matter of time...

On this long and perilous journey, I'm trying to stay positive. I'm trying to make my query letter sing, trying to follow all the different agency rules/regulations/orders down to the last little detail (which is never little to the agent, let me tell you). I suggest you do the same. No sense biting the hand that might someday feed you.

I wonder if agents know the power they have over us writers? Do they feel it? Do they get annoyed with our neediness and seek to punish us by throwing us into the Slush pile? I imagine some revel in their power - I suppose the rest are just plain tired and overworked and wished they only got what they wanted/requested instead of pink personalized stationery laden with hearts and lots of typos in a five-page query letter that talks about how much your hubbykins loves your book, but never says much about the book itself. Hint: Don't do this.

Author wannabes, you're not alone in this long, lonely, difficult process. It can be scary, disheartening, and depressing. But it can also be a great learning and growing experience (I hope). Maybe someday I (and you, too) will finally find that person who believes in us. Maybe someday (soon - life, I'm finding as I age, is incredibly short), I will meet the agent of my dreams. I imagine us sharing lunch - laughing, crying, singing Kumbaya together. It'll be great. Though, really, I'd just settle for help getting my book published and a nice working relationship, and maybe the occasional box of chocolates.

In the meantime, I will keep writing and honing my craft and marketing my other book and crying into my pillow late at night. What else is a person to do, but keep trying?

Wait...Don't answer that.

Just keep trying.

Oh, and listen to Jem's song...It's Amazing

How Do I Get Motivated to Write?

Let's face it. We are all busy people. All of us. So how does a person make the time, summon up the energy, and find the motivation to follow their dreams?

It isn't easy. I have three young boys and a household to run. When I first started writing, I was in graduate school. Later, I was the brand new mother of a baby, then another one and another one. It wasn't easy making - forging - the time to write. Sometimes (most of time), I had to trick myself into doing it, especially when I first started writing or was very, very tired because my child was up sick all night.

I'm going to focus on the dream of becoming a writer because it's a dream that I'm currently pursuing. Plus, I've learned a few tricks along the way to motivate myself to write, which I can pass along to you.

So, let's say you've come up with an idea of what you want to write, but find yourself sitting, staring at a blank page/screen because you don't know how to start and all that white is intimidating the bejeebers out of you. Or you've gotten started writing and then got stuck. Or, you can't seem to make the time. I've been there many times and have struggled to overcome these obstacles.

Here's what I came up with to get over them:

1) Finding time: There are twenty-four hours in a day. The typical person needs to sleep 6-8 hours (I prefer 9). If you work, take away another 8-10 hours. Then there's eating, cleaning, exercising etc. You get the picture. So how does a person find time to write?

a) Make a schedule. List all your activities for the week. Somewhere there has to be an hour or two that you can sit down and do something just for yourself. Schedule it in.
b) As hard as this sounds, think about sacrificing one of your lesser favorite TV shows and use that time to write.
c) Find a consistent time to do your creating. Most people go to work at specific times. This is the same idea.
d) There's a lot of down time you don't realize you have. For example, waiting for a doctor's appointment. I've used this time to scribble ideas on scraps of paper. Or taking a shower or standing in line at the groceries.
e) If you're really serious about achieving your dream, you will make time for it. If you are not, you will make excuses. Don't be one of those people who says, I will write when I retire. Let's face it...in these economic times you might never retire, or you'll die before you do.

2) Motivation: Create a creative environment. I have surrounded myself with my favorite books, both for leisure and for research, interesting pictures, my ugly doll, and my skulls, all to conjure up an atmosphere that shouts, Imagination! Another world! It doesn't have to be much space - you can hole up in a corner along with your computer, typewriter or notepad, with the perfect lamp and a stack of your favorite books close by and your i-pod in your ears. But it has to be yours. It's like going to work - you go to an office, or cubicle, or building, to do it. This space you create at home is your office. Consistency of environment can help get you focused and keep you on track.

3) Motivation: Look for stories everywhere. Lately, all someone has to do is bring up one slightly unusual story, idea, or image, and my mind takes it and runs, developing a story as quickly as it can. But first I had to work at freeing up my mind to see and hear the ideas. Be open to this world and it will flow into you. Heck, it might even start to shout at you, trying to get your attention. In raising my sons to be open to creative ideas, I've created little monsters. The two attending school have told me an idea has been percolating in their heads all day and they couldn't wait to get home to put it into practice. Children are so much more open; we adults might have to either reawaken the child within or train ourselves to be creative.

4) Motivation: Along with #3, keep notepads everywhere. By your bed, in your bag or purse, by the TV, in the car. As much as you think you're going to remember your ideas, you won't - unless you're one of those weird people who remembers everything. I'm not. As vivid as the idea was, it goes right down the toilet when the kids start to bicker or the phone rings, or a pretty, fluttery thing floats by.

5) Motivation: Talk to trusted people about your idea. Brainstorming is great for writing a book. You may not use other's ideas, but one of their thoughts might kick off an idea of your own. I've used this method many times to achieve clarity, map out a plot, figure out a detail. It's very helpful and actually quite fun. My engineer husband has a surprisingly fantastical imagination and has helped me figure out directions to take many times.

6) Motivation: Reward yourself for good deeds. I purposely eat less at lunch so I can have a snack while I type. I like food. I know I probably shouldn't use it as a reward, but I do. Still, I don't want to turn into a chair potato, so I have to work at not overdoing. Working at home, I have access to food whenever I want, and personally, I could eat all day. So I, and probably most people, really have to be careful using food as a reward.

My other rewards? When I finish something big (a certain number of pages a day, a book, an edit), I let myself read for fun, or watch a good movie, or go out with my family. The funny thing is, writing itself has become a reward. Most of the time, I love writing for the process itself (that doesn't mean I'm giving up my snack).

7) Motivation/Getting unstuck: Listen to the music that fits with the mood you want to evoke. Ethereal music for ghostly books. Rock-n-roll for an action scene. Whatever floats your boat. Music can be very inspiring. I can't, however, listen to music when I edit. It's too distracting. I've found that I can't seem to pay attention while I'm doing air guitar or singing at the top of my lungs. Go figure.

8) Motivation/Getting unstuck: To get in the mood to write, I read or watch movies in the genre I'm writing in. I write fantasy, so I watch The Chronicles of Narnia or Harry Potter. I'm currently writing a dark romance so I watched the new version of Wuthering Heights (which I wasn't all that thrilled by, I must admit, but it set a mood). Other movies/books can also trigger ideas.

9) Getting unstuck or started in the first place:
a) First of all, take off the pressure. Tell yourself that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. When it comes to this kind of thing, you really don't.
b) Second, give yourself a goal. Today I am going to write one page, or even one sentence. I've talked about this before in other blogs, but taking baby steps may be just what you need to do to get yourself unstuck. Imagining having to do it all at once is too overwhelming.
c) Take a break. Take a shower or a walk. Or let your work sit for a day or two and think about where you want to go with it. Fantasize about it just like you fantasize about telling off your boss or a jerk with road rage. Writers have imaginations, use yours!
d) Write now; edit later. It's that simple. Don't let your perfectionism kill the project before it can ever really take off.

While writing can be a great joy, it can also be hard work. Most people get paid to work. Writers don't until they publish something, which can be a reward a long time in coming. So search out what motivates you, use it temperately, and most of all, don't give up! Following your dream is a process in itself and is meant to be enjoyed.

Now, what are you doing wasting your time reading this blog? Get out there and follow your dreams!

Procrastination Makes You Put Things Off

When I first started to write books, I found it awfully hard going. I think that I’m a decent storyteller, but I’m not a natural writer - I really have to work at it. In the beginning, it didn’t take long for me to realize that getting all those grand ideas and visions of mine down on paper wasn’t going to be as easy as I’d thought. What sounded so good in my head didn’t always (okay, rarely) translate into print. Not like I’d imagined, anyway. This difficulty is why I think people put off writing, or quit after a few attempts.

That and the million other things going on in their lives.

But here’s the deal. As with any big project - cleaning out the basement, looking for a new job, getting in better shape, deciding to start a family - there is never a good time to start. There might be some times that are better than others, but generally, there is no good time to take on a big challenge. It’s now or never, my friends. So how do you do that? How do you get started?

Well, I’d like to share a few pointers with you about what I’ve done to get myself motivated. When I first started graduate school, if I had said to myself, before I am finished I am going to have to take four years of classes, write a master’s thesis, a doctoral dissertation, teach classes to other students (learning how to teach on the fly), learn how to be a therapist (once again, on the fly), take a two-day test that covered my entire four years of classes, plus four years of journal articles from four different journals (and if I don’t pass, I don’t graduate until I can try to take it the next year), and do a year-long internship (that some don’t get their first time around, better luck next year), not to mention building my resume by taking on other career-related jobs and being on committees, and all while trying to support myself on a salary that put me below the poverty level…If I had said all that to myself, I would have gone screaming into the night. I would have quit right then.

But I didn’t quit. Here’s what I did instead…I pretended that none of that other stuff mattered. I’m quite good at denial, actually. That first year I focused on getting through each day and trying to pretend that this was all there was to it. You are never going to take on something big if you understood the reality of what it encompassed. It looks too huge for one person to do. So why even bother to start? The minute I gave myself permission not to have to worry about everything, it made the whole process less stressful, and therefore doable.

The same goes for writing a novel. Baby steps are important. Break up that project. For example, tell yourself…Today I just have to write the first line. Or, today I just have to outline the first chapter, or maybe just develop a character. Don’t edit anything, just get something on paper. The moment you start accomplishing something, you will feel the weight lifting off your shoulders, and that frees you up to be more productive. If you have to go back and edit later, fine. Just try not to edit too much (if at all) when you start out. It bogs you down.

How do you avoid the bogs? One thing I do is put a little symbol in spots where I am having trouble remembering a word or phrase (or what I’m calling someone), or to remind me this is important information I have to get back to later. This also works well when you’re editing. The minute I get slowed down too much, I put in one of those signs (I use the # sign). Then, when I do a search, I can easily find those signs at another time. Maybe by then, I’ll have thought of the word, or be reminded that I have to talk about this issue later, which might actually trigger where you need to go next in your book.

You don’t want to spend a lot of energy focusing on the little stuff (at least not when you’re starting out). Put in your little sign and move on. You’ll get back to it later. Writing that first page isn’t so overwhelming if all you’re expecting of yourself is just to fill it. It doesn’t have to be perfect, or even all that sensical. I think I just made that word up, by the way…didn’t want to get bogged down looking for the right one. I don’t recommend you do that too often, but it is rather freeing! In my opinion, the first 25 pages of a novel are the hardest to write. If you can get past that barrier, I believe the writing gets easier. At least, that’s how it worked for me.

The positive thing? The more you write and edit, the easier writing gets. You know the rules better and apply them automatically. You think of words more quickly. You have a better sense of where you’re going. It takes time and practice, but all that does pay off.

So, in summary,

1. Don’t view the project as a whole. Break it up into pieces.
2. Denial is a beautiful thing. Don’t dwell on your mistakes. Get back to them later.
3. Take baby steps. Don’t think of yourself as writing the great novel on your first try.
4. Related to that, lower your expectations of yourself. When you’ve done this writing thing for a while, raise them back up again.
5. Dream about what your life will be like when you accomplish this task. Your dream may not actually come true, but it’s a lovely motivator.
6. Don’t let others rain on your parade. People can be real downers. They think they are preparing you for the disappointment, but that can really make a person not want to do anything!
7. Finally, this does get better and easier with time. Just like anything in life when you put enough effort into it.

Good luck and remember, Life is really, really short. Don’t put off what you want to do simply because it seems overwhelming. There’s always time somewhere in your life. You just have to find it. As I always say, Dream Big! But then find a way to make those dreams come true!

The Scream Heard Round The World

So I was working away, editing book two of the Chronicles of Anaedor series when my computer ate my document.

Then, without so much as a by your leave, the stupid thing shut down. I stared at the blank screen for a minute. As I watched in glaze-eyed fear, the computer then kicked back on and proceeded to start up again. Okay! Things were working. I could get back to editing my book! Whew! So, when everything was fully loaded on the desktop, I double-clicked my little bookmark icon and my computer promptly went black again, shutting down, then starting up again. This happened several times (I couldn’t seem to make my mind comprehend that doing the same thing over and over again wasn’t going to make a difference).

What the heck was happening to my computer? Would I ever see my document again? Oh, the humanity!

The scary thing is that this has happened to me before. Like my mother, I’m very good at finding the bugs in software. One time I managed to freeze a video game I used to play back in graduate school 3 different times, right before I was almost to the end (once you reached a certain stage you couldn’t save, so if it crashed you had to start over again - ah, yes, the good old days). I don’t know how I did it. This time, all I did was try to undo a caps drop and my computer freaked out. Maybe I should have given it a little warning, or asked for permission, speaking softly and calmly. Little did I know that such a simple procedure would send my computer into a hissy fit.

Now, like I said, this same thing has happened to me before. Each time, my husband was able to retrieve my documents by transferring them to his Apple computer (mine’s a PC). Some kind of magical hoo-doo voodoo process happened on his Apple, and there was my stuff back again, right as rain. I’m hoping and praying that he’s able to work his magic again. I do have my stuff backed up on a disk, but I did that a week ago. I’ve made a lot of changes in that week. I do not want to lose those changes.

If you hear someone screaming in the night, you will know that I did lose those changes.

In the meantime, I am sitting here writing this blog, hoping to relieve some anxiety. I didn’t know what else to do. I even spent some time making banana bread for supper. But, until my husband comes home from his techie job and fixes this problem (he’d better be able to fix it), I have to find something productive to do. I might even clean the house.

Oh, dear Lord, now I know I’ve really flipped.

Strangely enough, I do love my computer. Can you imagine hand writing an entire novel? I can’t even comprehend it. But I pay a price for the ease in my life. Unless your house burns down, your handwritten copy is pretty safe. If it your computer eats your document, you may never see it again.

Ever. So pray for me, please, or send good vibes. We don’t need another insane writer in the world.

How Can A Person Be Original When Everything’s Already Been Done?

There’s a reason I’ll never be the next Shakespeare or Tolkien. They beat me to it. You see, I think I could have created great works if only I’d been born at an earlier time. Okay, so maybe not. But I tell you it’s awfully hard being unique in today’s age.

Look at the fashion world. Every twenty years, they recycle a look. The only way you can be unique in fashion today is to paint your outfits onto your body - ha, ha, ha. Oh, wait. That’s already been done.

Dang.

It’s a real dilemma for us wannabes. And one I have no answer to. I thought I was being quite original with my book idea. But really, I suppose if you look at the theme, it’s been done. I’d like to think that I’ve added a unique perspective with a unique character, but probably not. Other people have told me they think it’s a wonderful and unusual story, but I paid them to say that.

It’s depressing, I tell you. I even tried hard to avoid having my book resemble anything close to the Harry Potter books. I hated the idea that people would think I was trying to ride J.K. Rowling’s coattails by copying her work (though technically I am doing that just by including her name in this blog - oops). The same thing could be said about all the authors I’ve read over the years. What I write is going to be similar to what they have written, simply because we have a similar way of thinking (yes, there are a lot of us out there who think strange things). Anyway, there are certain themes (good vs. evil, courage, growing up) that are hard to go without when you are writing in a specific genre, or writing anything at all. It isn’t easy to avoid similarities. There were times when I just had to say, forget it - do what feels right!

So I’m going to have to accept that I may never come up with anything truly unique. It’s a hard and bitter pill to swallow. Or maybe I should look at it from another perspective (I like manipulating reality to make it look how I want it to look). No one will ever write a story exactly like mine. And maybe I did something worthwhile that will affect someone in just the way they needed to be affected. Or, maybe certain themes need to be repeated for each individual and for each generation for us humans to finally fully understand them. Why not? I do so like that explanation much better than thinking I’m just a sheep, a drone, or a drudge.

In the meantime, I will keep on writing, searching for that elusive twist… Just don’t beat me to it, okay?